I feel like throwing, if not giving, up.
Somehow I feel like I’ve had enough. Of asking people to do things, of being asked repeatedly, of being yelled at, of yelling, of sobbing endlessly, of having no one to blame, of being blamed, of checking (the same) things over and over, of explaining (the #$%^* same!!) things over and over, of worrying, of understanding, of being understood, of misunderstanding, of being misunderstood, of holding myself from being too harsh, of feeling like a maniac, of being an obsessive-compulsive manic-depressive freak, of feeling like a thankless bitch (though I feel thankful, really), of….. all these things.
I am strong, but apparently I’m just not that strong. I can conquer many things, but sometimes, it’s myself that I can’t conquer.
I want to fastforward. Or maybe not. Time, stand still. Or maybe… don’t.
Truth is, sometimes I don’t know what I want anymore. And God knows how I hate myself for becoming that person. 😦
(I want Louise.. 😦 )